June 04, 2001
The first thing I wrote on the website was a thank you letter. In that letter I wrote, “On Monday, I am going to give notice at my job. I am not going to be a corporate girl. I am going to trust the universe and be a writer.” When I wrote that, I don’t know how much I actually believed that if I followed my heart, my calling, my passion that it would actually work out. I had a lot of doubt about the whole ‘trusting the universe’ thing. I had no way of knowing if it was a gimmick or if it would really work.
It works. I am here to tell you that I am living proof that following your heart works.
On the day that I gave notice to my job, I called SARK’s voicemail line that she has printed in her books. For some reason I felt a huge need to thank her. I had never met her but she had been a huge influence, a role model, a guide, and in some twisted way, a friend. I felt if anyone understood the struggle to listen to your heart, the challenge of living your dream, and the desire to write she would. So I left her a message saying how she had affected me and how I was now on a journey to some day be a writer as well. I told her that I wanted to go from being “Alex the Girl” to “Alex the Woman” and that by becoming a writer, I just might be able to do that. At the end of the message I left her my website address.
A few weeks after leaving the message I found out that SARK was going to be on a book signing tour in my city. Of course I had to go.
Tonight Chris and I went to listen to her speak about her new book. For a little over an hour, she spoke, she laughed, and she shared parts of her book, her ideas and bits of life. What I loved most was when she would giggle at herself.
After she spoke, the book signing process began. I was one of the last people in a very long line and stood in it for around forty-five minutes. The bookstore people would periodically walk down the line and say, “She won’t be here much longer, so you might not get to see her.” My heart sank when I would hear them say that because I felt that I had to see her. Not just to have my book signed, but because of another reason I wasn’t exactly sure of.
To help speed up the line process, an assistant came out and asked us our names that we wanted to have SARK sign in our books. She asked me what my name was, I told her, and on a bright pink post it note she wrote:
The nearer I got to SARK, the more this feeling inside me grew that I had to add “the girl” under my name. Standing in line I couldn’t see a pen anywhere so I thought that was a sign to just leave my name as Alex. I promise that as soon as I said that, I saw a pen right beside me on the counter.
What the hell I thought and under A L EX I scribbled:
A few minutes later I got up to SARK and handed her my book. She opened it up and saw the bright pink post it note and in a loud and excited voice said, “You’re Alex the Girl?”
“Yes,” I said rather stunned.
“I know you!” She exclaimed. “You left a wonderful voicemail for me awhile ago, didn’t you?”
“Yes I did” I smiled back.
“I loved it! I saved it and listened to it a few times. It was wonderful! I wanted to contact you but I’ve been so busy with everything.”
I, the girl that has a witty retort and the oh so amazing conversational skills said nothing. I was stunned. She knew me? She recognised my name? The only thing I could think to say back was “Well I can imagine you’ve been super busy, I understand.” (This is why I think perhaps it is a good thing I want to be a writer and not a people greeter.)
She said, “You should have told me sooner who you were! I’ve been to your website, I love it! What you’re doing is fabulous! Really!”
“Thank you,” I said. “So you got my thank you message, I am really glad.”
“Yes I did. Please contact me again, I want to hear from you.” She said with a smile and sturdy eyes that I’m sure twinkled no less than Santa’s ever could have.
“Thank you,” I said and shook her hand.
In a daze I went to find my husband. “She knew me,” was all I could sputter out to him.
To have someone whose work I admire, who probably has gone through everything I am going through right now, tell me they liked my work, was incomprehensible to me. It made me feel like I was on the right track.
On the drive home, Chris & I were talking and I told him that perhaps the universe would come through after all. When I got home, I had emails from two people who I’ve been waiting to hear back from. I wrote them about some writing opportunities and they had responded. It seems like all this writing is becoming real. You can’t imagine how overwhelming that feeling is.
Tonight I just had complete validation for what I’m doing. I know now that this is real. The encouragement, the meeting with people, the talking, the living it all out, is such an amazing thing. I think that’s why I am so glad to have the website, to show that when you choose to accept your dream, it really does come true. Who would have thought?