June 07, 2001
I think when people hear of others living their dream, something inside them awakens. They start to have the ideas of their dream, and what can they do to achieve that. And that ripple effect is amazing.
However, I’m starting to find people who can some times trivialize the whole process. Some people think that because I’ve chosen to live my dream as a writer, things must be full of glitter and cloud nine moments.
For the most part, I must confess, it is. I am a lot happier now, I’m much more relaxed, my confidence is back, I’m more passionate and alive, and I don’t feel like I have some corporate entity sucking the life out of me. I feel like I am finally on the right track.
However, there have been major changes. For one, I gave up a very nice income which means fewer vacations, less disposable income and less savings. But there are things now that I need to do that are financial; get a small used laptop, do some legal work, get a larger flat so I can have some kind of office (this means more rent.)
Also, there I feel a lot of pressure to prove that what I’m doing is real and worthwhile. I feel pressure to become something amazing. Every day that I’m at home working, I wonder if it’s enough.
There’s a lot of uncertainty that comes along with my choice to be a writer, and that’s a very scary thing at times. I have the days where anything I write doesn’t seem good enough, and I ask myself why have I chosen this again?
At this point, I don’t regret making the choice at all. I feel that this is the right time in my life to do this, and something will come of it. That I’m sure of. But the road to getting there is hard.
At first, the work involved in living my dream scared me away from the attempt. To me, that was just straight pitiful. With the up’s there are the downs. As long as you’re realistic, determined and hard working, there is no reason that whatever you want cannot be achieved.
It just takes a little effort, and one hell of a lot of patience.