June 03, 2001
Sunday, June 3, 2001
Since I have been working at home, most people don’t think that I am actually working. Even though I pound away on the keyboard all morning, write down abstract ideas all the time, and submit things for publication, people tend to think that because I am not 9-5′ing in an office, that I just sit around at home all day and sometimes do a little thing called writing.
“Now that you’re not working, we can go on vacation for a week or two!” my husband said to me. Although I wanted to go, I had concerns about taking off for so long. How would I write? How would I continue to make contacts? How would I keep my momentum going?
I thought I would somehow figure it all out and so for one week, we went on holiday. I wrote a couple of times that trip, got some really good ideas for some new writing projects, and felt I had made some progress in my endeavors. However, that all ended by the third day of our travels and for the rest of the trip I didn’t write. “I’m on holiday,” I would think, “I can’t work!”
Upon coming home from our trip, some friends said to me, “Now that you’re not working, you can come and stay with me and help me with some things!” I thought about it and thought that I did have the time now and I thought I could find some time to write while I’m there. So off I went and stayed with my friends for a few days, but was so tired at the end of each day, I didn’t even write in my journal.
When I came home from that trip, my in-laws had arrived from out of town for a few days. “Now that you’re not working,” they said, “We can finally spend some time with you!”
Between shuffling them to and from the hotel and to every tour company known to God, my energy for writing had vanished.
I had all these things popping up, imposing on my time as a writer. It had messed up my pattern, my work habits, and my train of thought.
It’s not that I didn’t want to write – I did. It’s not that I couldn’t write – I could have. But I had “when I get around to it” going through my . I had “when I get the time” going through my . I had, “when things settle down” going through my . But I think the most important thing I had going through my was the same thoughts as everyone else: “Since I’m not working anymore…”
Even though I had declared a month ago that I wanted to write for a living, it has taken me a month to realise that this really is my job. It’s taken me a month to realise that if I don’t work, if I don’t try, if I don’t focus, then nothing happens. This is my job now.
So tonight when my mum in law said, “now that you’re not working, are you going to write?” I was able to reply without hesitation, “I am working, now that I am writing.”
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The Chronicles of Girl at Play began in April 2001 as a way for me to chronicle my leaving a successful corporate position to become a self-employed writer.