July 15, 2001
When you can get the ball rolling, it doesn’t seem to want to stop. The trick is, to getting it rolling in a positive direction.
Before I took the plunge of doing what I wanted to do instead of doing what I thought I should do, I had so much fear and self-doubt inside of me. All I could think about was the “can’t do’s” because my mind wasn’t open enough to think of all the “can do’s.” I couldn’t imagine ever leaving the life I had, despite the fact it left me empty, angry, and unfulfilled. I didn’t think I could ever do what I wanted because I couldn’t get past my list of “can’t do’s” and “won’t happen.” I could never make it past the overwhelming sense of fear I had and so I never made attempts at changing my life’s direction because I was afraid of so many things – especially of failing. I wasn’t able to recognise that by being untrue to myself, I was already failing.
My mind just focused on the fear and the negative. Even though I wanted to change my job and follow my passion, I had no idea how to see the “can do’s” and “will happen” because what I wanted, seemed to impossible.
However, when I finally made the decision to quit my corporate world, jeopardize what people thought of me, and give up security, the impossible started to happen. And when the impossible started to happen, my mind switched gears and I started to think that if this could happen, then why not that? My mind started to become filled with can do’s and will happen. At the beginning, I’d have maybe one new idea or want each day, but that one thing would snowball into 5 more things, and soon enough, I was full of ideas, aspirations, new friendships, positive vibes and opportunities I didn’t know were there before!
The fear had been building and building and it had built itself so high that it was hard to see anything on the other side of it. And in the beginning of living out my passion, the fear was still there, every day. But each day, by fighting it and making small attempts, I could see over the fear and see the good ideas and the new ways of doing things on the other side.
So many people never make attempts and follow the life they should lead because they don’t have all the answers up front. If they could just make one small change, one attempt, the ripple effect from that would be amazing. I’m proof of that.