August 13, 2001
I received an email from Andrea Scher, who is a jewellery designer, artist, and all around fabulous person. She said, “To think that by creating art, I can not only make a living, but also be in community with amazing people like you, makes me feel like the luckiest girl ever. If I was just creating a product, en masse, and there was nothing connecting me to the world, I would feel kind of empty. Yuck.”
To me, this was such a beautiful statement; it sums up a lot of my feelings about my website and what I’ve received from it. When I first started all this, I felt like I was the only one going through all these fears and insecurities. I thought if I could somehow be published, that the fear would be gone and I would have “made it.” I tried to focus on the end result. But that didn’t work.
So instead I started to contact artists – not for advice, but just complimenting them on what I liked about their work or their site. And the strange thing is, they all replied to me – every single one. And every single one of them told me that they felt fear and insecure sometimes. That they had the down days and the up days. They told me they related to what I had said.
Now, it wasn’t just writers that said this, it was artists, illustrators, authors, and performers. They made me feel that not only was I not alone, but I was apart of some amazing group. A group that gave unconditional support, encouragement, inspiration and, when you needed it, a good kick in the arse. In any event, my emails and friendships with these artists made me feel more secure about my choice and that I wasn’t a freak or alone. It made me go from feeling like a wannabe, to the real deal. I think it also changed my intention.
Instead of doing everything with the feeling of having to prove something, I was able to relax and just to what I love to do without worrying about its outcome so much. I realised that writing makes me happy, being a part of this community makes me happy, and anything else is just icing on the cake.