August 25, 2001
I’m not the kind of soul who generally sits around all day and waits for things to happen but over the past couple of years that’s what I did.
I secretly held the belief that someone would come and rescue me from my creative boredom. Someone would discover my talent and unleash it. Something would magically happen and I’d have all the creativity, passion, and excitement I wanted mysteriously given to me. Even though I had always worked for things and created my life, subconsciously a part of me thought that something would just “happen” without me having to make any effort and that working for a dream seemed almost silly.
I remember after I had met Sark, even though I hadn’t ever thought of her helping me before, afterwards I secretly thought the phone would ring, she’d hook me up with the right people, tell me what I need to do and my life would be taken care of.
I waited around the phone a little for a few days before I realised that only I could make things happen by showing up each day and putting in some effort.
That sounds obvious now. But when you have no direction at first, or when things are overwhelming, sometimes you just want to throw your hands in the air and yell, “Here I am! Come find me!”
That is why I feel extremely proud and happy of everything that’s going on now. It’s all happening is because I went out looking for it and I created it. Nothing was handed to me. No one told me about all this or helped me realise things. I showed up. I put the effort in.
That’s big a great lesson for me, and also a sneaky one. Because before I never realised that I was waiting because I thought I was a take charge person. But I see now that I was, even if it was just a little.
But not anymore.