Nov. 11, 2001
I’ve been keeping the creative side completely separate from the work side, I realise that now. But after thinking about it, I didn’t feel so bad because I realised that that’s just how I had grown up. That the two were separate.
As a child, you have playtime. That is different than regular classes and regular work. It’s a period that’s set aside for just pure imaginative play. As you age, that playtime becomes more limited and the worktime becomes more regular. Then in high school, you’re told to not waste time playing around, that you need to work more and think linear if you want to get anywhere in life. Then when you’re out of school, it seems that all you do is work and be responsible. When was the last time you saw a grownup playing pretend on their own that wasn’t in some institution?
So I realised today that they had just been separate entities, and that if I were in one mode, I’d fight off the other. But I can’t do that anymore, I have to blend them. Otherwise, nothing gets done.
One way I’ve done this is to schedule my arse off. This despite the fact that up until now I have never successful made a to do list and followed it. Regiments have always put me off. But I’m determined to try it this time or I’ll have all this stuff floating in my head that can overwhelm me, and then I tend to not do any of it.
I was lucky in that Chris’ work gave him a new Palm Pilot, and since he already had one he gave it to me. I spent a lot of yesterday scheduling appointments for myself and writing tasks to do. Sort of a routine of sorts.
In the mornings, I’ve scheduled my yoga, my breakfast, my reading and general laziness. Then, from 10am until 3pm I’ve scheduled work. This isn’t really too hard because this has been my routine thus far. But to see work scheduled from 10am to 3 is really good, because from that time, I can’t do the dishes, I can’t run errands, I can’t goof off. That is my time to work. Somehow seeing it, written down, just makes it more real, and I find that especially important since I am working at home where doing other things seems all to easy to do.
From 3 until 6 I have my goof time. This is cafe time, walk time, chat with friends, run errands, nap, read, whatever. That gives me permission each day to just be. Where the creative sparks can come without guilt whatsoever. This is also important, because sometimes if I’m just reading, I feel guilty. Like I should be working on my portfolio or sending out articles.
From 6pm onwards is whatever time – dinner, chores, sleep, walk, laundry, time with Chris, whatever.
I’m not sure how well this will work, to be honest. I’ve tried to make some kind of structure that will work with my personality and my way of doing things, and I think for the most part, this is pretty good. I had to do something because just being creative all day wasn’t selling anything, and just working all day to sell something wasn’t helping with my creativity.
At least now when people ask me to do things I have to think twice. I might just have to say, “I can’t make it this time, I’m working.” To which they might reply, “But I thought you worked from home and you can do anything, anytime?” “Not today,” I’ll say, “I have an appointment.”