Nov. 16, 2001
Maybe it’s too early to tell. Maybe it’s another on of my ploys where I trick myself into thinking I’m doing good and then slack off later on. Maybe, though, this time is different.
I got up this morning and was tired and cranky from a bad sleep. I had a million thoughts running through my brain and none of them had to do with articles. I thought, ‘What do I do? How do I work, be creative, pack for the move, take care of the house, run the errands and fit eating all in twenty four hours?’ It was only 7am and already I felt overwhelmed.
Then I remembered I had prepared for this yesterday and went to the palm, flicked on its screen and there, in perfect order, was my list of to do’s. Not having to think about my day made getting on with it easier, and one by one I began to tackle each to do on my list.
Breakfast was cooked, yoga was done, tea was drunk, and being irritable was over with. The next task on my list was work. Work as work on my portfolio, work on articles, work on content, work on marketing – whatever. As long as it had to do with my career, now was the time to do it. At first, I actually resisted starting on the task of working. The strange thing was because I had it scheduled my mind changed it’s opinion about work. Even though I had worked countless hours without complaining before, now, seeing it as a task, as an appointment, my mind started to think it was just plain old work with no room for creativity. A part of me actually didn’t want to start. I actually didn’t want to go to work. There was only one thing to do about this and so I dragged myself over to the desk, sat myself in front of the computer and just began.
I started to do a little typing here and there. I started on some design work for the new sites. I started to make a list of books I needed to get and did some research on some new magazines. Before I knew progress was being made, stories were shaping up, and the portfolio was coming along slowly. Then I noticed that I was hungry and thought about lunch. But lunch is so far away, I thought. Then I looked at the clock and three hours had passed without me knowing it.
I was proud of myself to just do some work even if I didn’t feel creatively inspired in the beginning. Normally if I didn’t feel like working, I didn’t. I thought because I was the boss and without deadlines, it was OK to not work when the creativity wasn’t blooming or my brain just didn’t want to function. I realise now that even if I don’t feel creative or feel like I have the ability to write something just then, that sitting at the computer doing a little bit of work on this and that helps to get the juices flowing. Then in no time, my brain is working overtime with more ideas than I can count and I’m working like mad and actually enjoying it.
I’ve heard of countless writers’ say there are two very important things to do with regards to writing. One is to show up each day and the second is to just write and write no matter what. I did both today and I can safely say that it worked. I kicked my own arse into gear and it felt good.