Dec. 31, 2001
In all the 27 new years that have come and gone, I have not once made a resolution.
For the most part, I thought they felt a little negative because you hear more often than not of people making resolutions that are just made to be broken or don’t seem so important. You know the ones – lose 10lbs, quit smoking, stop being mean to my brother, exercise at 5am each day, read War and Peace etc.
This year, however, I’ve decided that I’m going to make one.
It’s not so much of what I’m not going to do, but rather, what I am going to do. And what I am going to do this year is not hold back.
This new feeling of bravery started in mid-December when something inside just clicked. When I realised that I by writing, I was a writer. And how much of a writer depended on how much I wrote and what I did with it. That feeling of accepting who I am and being comfortable has allowed me to relax and focus on moving forward, instead of spending time question if I have the right to move forward.
I think of all the time from April until December that I held back, and all the opportunities that passed me by because I was afraid or the friendships I missed because I was too scared to sound stupid and hit the reply button. I think of all the paintings that I never started because I was too scared that they’d be stupid and all the writing bits I threw out because I was afraid that someone might read them. That’s not what I am about and that’s not what living is about.
Now that I’m back to remembering that I won’t waste anymore time. No more holding back.