Jan. 19, 2002
I thought if you were a good writer, you could write stories, articles, and proposals all on your own. In fact, good writers never got help from anyone; that would almost be like cheating.
Awhile ago a friend and I were working on the same writing project and she told me how she was at that point where she needed to brainstorm and get feedback from other people. This startled me. You can get help? Others can offer ideas and that won’t send you straight to writing hell?
All the writing I’ve ever done has come from my head with no brainstorming with others. The only feedback I’ve ever received has been from my finished work; no one’s ever helped me with the process. I thought if I needed help, I must not be very good and so I worked silently and sometimes frustrated, alone.
Part of not asking for help was due to the fact that I have been embarrassed to ask for help. I don’t want someone to read something that I haven’t completely fixed up and made as good as I want to. I feel awkward and shy when people read something of mine that I’m not satisfied with, and instead of being proud of the effort, I start to make excuses for the work and become the worst critic imaginable.
I’m at the stage now, however, that I need help. I’ve written up the proposal for my book and it’s sitting there quiet and pretty on my hard drive. I should go somewhere but it’s not because I am unsure about it. I need someone to look at it and give me honest feedback. However, it’s scaring me to ask. I’m nervous. I’m afraid. It’s like showing yourself naked while asking for respect.
I have access to author friends and people who know how to edit. I know there are people standing by, willing to help if I could just overcome my fear of asking. My fear of feeling like I’m imposing. My fear of being told that it really isn’t very good at all.
I know that I can’t do all this alone, no matter how much of a superhero I think I am. Everyone needs help and feedback at some point and I am no different. I just have to get over my fears of asking for help because stubbornness and independence aren’t helping as much as other people could.