Feb. 11, 2002

There are emails to catch up on, work to do, updates to make but for now, everything is going to remain quiet.

Last week I had major surgery and am still in the process of recovering from it. I’m trying to heal in a guilt free manner but it’s hard – there’s so much I want to do right now but physically and mentally I just can’t. Being an invalid has certainly been a learning experience.

I’ve learned that when you work from home, the line between work and home sometimes blur. When you’re at home, you’re also at your office. That can make it difficult at times to not think about work. There is no office you drive home from, or cubicle you walk into.

When I had the surgery, I had it done about a 3 hour drive away and I ended up having to stay with my friends for the first several days. This ended up being a very good thing because I was out of my home, out of my office, and out of my comfort zone. I couldn’t work, I didn’t have to return emails or type up thoughts. I didn’t think about how to work my surgery into articles. I did nothing, without worry, for those first few days.

Then I came home last Friday night and as soon as I walked in the door, I felt the need to catch up on my work and get back into my pattern of doing. Even though I was medicated beyond belief and completely sick, I thought because I was at home, I should be working. The computer was only 6 feet away and I felt guilty for not being at it.

If someone had told me I was a workaholic I would have laughed at them. I am known as the girl who plays far too much and hooky is my middle name. Yet with writing, with taking charge of my own career, it’s different. I want to write and create all the time. I have all these plans that have to be put into motion. There’s so much going on inside my head that all I want to do is figure out how to make it all real. Everything I see becomes something processed in my mind. I’m always writing in my head, reflecting on things, figuring out art. I love what I’m doing and don’t even consider it work half the time. And that might be a dangerous thing.

For the sake of my sanity, (and future guilt free surgeries or days off) I need to learn to create some kind of balance between work and home.

Maybe it would help if I didn’t live in 800 square feet.

Tweet This Post