April 11, 2002
On April 27th, I’m attending my high school reunion. When I first decided to go, I didn’t give much thought as to why. Saying yes was just an automatic response, like I’d go to hell if I didn’t attend. I thought it would be the same for everyone else.
It turns out, however, that a lot of people aren’t going to attend – more than half the class. The reasons were varied of course, but the main one was people were embarrassed to show up. They weren’t quite where they wanted to be and didn’t consider themselves successful enough to show up.
I thought about this for awhile, because I don’t think life is about proving something, or besting someone. I think you do what you have to do, and hopefully it’s what you love.
When I heard how many people didn’t consider themselves successful, I began to question the validity of considering myself so.
I’m not famous by any means and am not actually striving to be a household name. I have yet to be paid so I’m definitely not on the millionaire’s track. There are just a few credits under my belt, and so far I have not heard from the Pulitzer Committee.
The effort I’ve put into my work and myself, might not have materialised into big awards but they have done something. They’ve made me happy and love who I am. And although that might sound new agey and cliché, it’s the simplest truth I have.
I don’t fit the standard definition of success because titles and money aren’t important to me – I’ve been there and felt like a failure. The years I spent in Corporate America, I hated myself. Looking in the mirror I felt like an old, cranky nobody who was living a life they didn’t want on automatic pilot. If I had to go to my reunion being an Executive, I would have felt like a failure, despite the fact I worked for an impressive company, made lots of money and had all the titles you could want.
But now that I’m living as who I want to be, and doing what I want to do, I feel a sense of pride and accomplishment I haven’t felt before. Each day I get up and begin a life that I love. I get to do what I am passionate about. At the end of each day I am satisfied – I feel solid.
I’m not perfect, I’m not finished, and I don’t have it all figured out, but I know who I am and I like it. Everyday. And that, to me, is success.