I never thought I had money issues because I would earn my money by working, I’d put some into savings, some to bills and some to a splurge now and then. Because I was so practical with money and always seemed to have it, I thought I had money all figured out.

I was wrong.

It wasn’t until recently when I read the profile of Emira & Lauren at Another Girl at Play, that I discovered that I had issues.

In their profile they said, “The thing we find ourselves telling people a lot is: Don’t undersell yourself. We’ve found that a lot of people — women especially — who are starting their own businesses don’t create business plans that will pay them enough to live well. It’s true that you may spend a few months, or even a couple of years, building up the business and scraping by (and racking up your credit cards), but you’ll burn out pretty quickly if you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. Plan to pay yourself what you’re worth.”

When I first read that, it really hit me although at the time I didn’t understand why. I thought I had begun to deal with finally making a living at writing by attempting to get paid, and so I was unsure of why hearing this piece of advice affected me as much as it did.

It wasn’t until a few weeks ago I discovered why. I was still selling myself short.

It’s not exactly a fear of being paid, but it’s defining what I’m worth that scares me. I am a giver - I’ll give anything away and usually do. And because I’d write for free, I have a hard time figuring out what something is worth and being comfortable with accepting payment for it.
buy art

For example, I had the idea to sell two of my most popular pieces of artwork because people had been asking about buying them. I was unsure at first but then as the need came about for a second computer, I decided I could put the money I would make from selling the art towards the goal of buying a second hand laptop.

I tried to figure out a reasonable price for the prints - calculated how much it would cost to print, package and ship them and added in some time and then compared my price to others that sold artwork. I calculated the price of the used laptop I have been eyeing and then figured out how many prints I’d need to sell to cover it. I had a goal, some artwork and some buyers. I thought it would be easy enough to sell them.
But when I created the website, put up the prints, sent out mailings to people, received a few orders, I began to become very uncomfortable. Strangely, it wasn’t the fear of selling artwork (I had been able to get over the issue of not thinking that I could ever be an artist. I realised by the simple fact that I create art, no matter how good or bad, I am an artist) but the fear of taking money for it.

People were willing to buy my prints. They wanted to hand me money. They were ready to give me my asking price without questions. Friends, strangers, family were sending me requests for my artwork. It was so uncomfortable and foreign to me that instead of instantly replying to them on where to send payment, I said nothing at all.

Then I checked up on the laptop I wanted, and it had been sold. Now, I didn’t have a goal I really began to think twice about selling artwork. At least with a goal, I rationalised that people were helping me out or supporting me. Without purpose, I felt like I was somehow being a fake with selling my artwork and was just about business.

Then I realised it is business! I have my own business. I need to make money at my business and that’s 100% ok! People were willing to pay me money for goods and there is nothing wrong with that.

I had declared what my artwork was worth and people responded to that without question. No one asked what the money was for, if I was really worth it or if they could have a discount because they knew me when I was 12. I was the only one who questioned the whole taking money thing and if I was worth receiving it. I was the only one who had issues with business and money. So I got over it.

I’m a business, that’s all there is to it. As much as I love doing this for free, I need to start making money at it. I’m sure that when I do start to make money, no one is going to tell me that’s it’s bad or wrong or who was I to get paid. Instead, people will probably say, “It’s about time you started to get paid for what you’re worth.”

I know that new businesses can take 3-5 years to before they see a profit, and that’s if they have their heads on straight. Mine’s been crooked with regards to money, because I never really thought about it or valued it as much as I need to. I’ve been spending the last year becoming comfortable with being a writer and doing all the head work with that, that I didn’t have time to also investigate the money side.

Now I have the time and the desire, so I’ve decided to become more serious about money by really pursuing paying jobs and being OK with being paid. Then I’m going to treat myself like a business come with business plan, savings, salary and everything else. That’s what will make the difference between writing for a hobby, and writing successfully for a living.

Email | Filed in Money Matters | Share/Save