July 29, 2002
After being away for a week on a business/personal travel trip, the work had piled up.
I spent the morning catching up on every email, finishing up the Another Girl at Play redesign, tweaking articles for my travel portfolio, querying a few magazines and other odds and ends that needed to be taken care of.
Now, the wind has died down outside but the coldness coming through the windows and the cloudy skies make it a perfect day to bake a cake and brew some tea. After that, I’m sure I’ll enjoy a really good nap.
These are the kind of days I craved when I had to do a very specific 9-5 routine where taking time out for cakes and naps were a guaranteed way of getting fired. It’s taken me a year and a half to get comfortable with the freedom my job allows.
Many artists I speak with suffer from the same guilt I have – that taking a break is an indulgence or waste. Yet one of the reasons we freelance is so that we have the freedom that our creative brains need.
Without play, relaxation or joy, my productivity is down and my crankiness is up. As all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, it certainly makes me a dull writer.
Finally, I’m learning to balance the work and play side. I’ve done a lot of work, caught up on the most pressing and now that my brain is overloaded I’m going to relax and enjoy a little of the afternoon before I head finish up my work for the evening.
After all, this is the kind of day I’ve always wanted and am now able to have and I’m not going to put it to waste any longer.
July 18, 2002
In a couple of days, I’ll be leaving for a one week trip. Part personal, part business for a travel article. I’ve pitched an idea to a magazine and they liked it but with the understanding that once on the trip, the article could turn into something different. That’s how the writing goes, sometimes – you just can’t control it if it’s going to be good.
I used to read about authors who would say the ending of their own novel would surprise them and I wondered how could that be? Didn’t they plan it that way? Now, as a writer, I understand.
When I try to control my writing, the words I churn out are bad and contrived. When I just let them flow and take me where they want to, I end up on an interesting journey. It’s only during the editing process do I control which word goes where.
This way of writing has also helped me to write more. Before I’d wait until I had it all sorted in my mind which, by the time I had an ending I would have forgotten the beginning. Or it would take me so long to figure out an ending that I just wouldn’t start writing at all. Not much went down on paper.
By just writing, even short paragraphs or two, my brain keeps working. I call all the bits I don’t use ‘practice.’ Flexing my writing muscle so I don’t forget how to use it.
The idea of perfect first draft went out the door long ago and now I concentrate on just getting the writing done first, and then worrying about how to make it great.
That system makes things not only easier, but a lot more enjoyable.
July 15, 2002
Normally at this time, I’d be heading off to bed. However I’m just starting work.
With the in-laws arriving last week, an out of town family party on the weekend and more time having to be spent with the in-laws, my normal morning work patterns have been torn to shreds.
Truth be told, I haven’t had time to write.
A lot of people email me with the same problem. I always tell them to find time whenever they can – be it five minutes between lunch, an extra half hour in the morning or late at night. Just write.
I realise with my own lack of writing, it’s time for me to take my own advice.
With articles due, queries to submit, updates to make I don’t have time to not have the time. I have to find it – even at midnight.
So here I sit, when everyone else is quiet and gone and the only sound happening is the clicking of the keys. Yes, I’d rather be asleep but there’s work to do. If I don’t do it now, I’m not sure when because my regular schedule won’t happen until August. The work just can’t wait, and truthfully, either can I.
July 10, 2002
The most important thing to do is make a decision. Once that’s done everything else just seems to follow.
When I made the decision to write, doors I never imagined opened up. When I made the decision to do travel writing, I was able to move forward at an alarming rate. When I made the decision to act like a business, a foundation started to form.
Working can be hard, but sometimes committing to a decision can be even harder. Trusting that it’s the right decision is one thing, trusting that if it’s not that you’ll survive is another.
I think that’s why I’ve finally been having successful months – June and now July have been busy. I’ve been stepping out of my comfort zone and making decisions to try something new. Not thinking about it, not worrying about it, just doing it. And because of that, things are continuously happening.
July 09, 2002
It’s 80F outside with nothing but sunshine and a light breeze. Working at my desk I see the lake in all it’s blue glory. I hear the splash of the pool and happy birds chirping. I want to go outside.
I already snuck time off this morning – up to the cafe where I sipped a latte for an hour while I read The Alchemist. I also weeded my balcony garden, hosed down the outside furniture, and had a leisurely lunch before I started to work.
And I have worked; two new queries that just need tweaking, sites updated, and another travel article completed. There’s more in me to go, but at the moment al I want to do is just play hooky.
It’s hard for me sometimes to just take a trip down to the beach and work there, especially when I have really good excuses such as there’s no air conditioning in this flat. However I tend to remain at home, inside because of the guilt factor.
My husband has to work in an office building. He has to sit at his desk Why should I be able to just do what I want, when I want? I still haven’t given in to the luxury and freedom of working on my own. Sometimes it just doesn’t seem “right” to have fun, take off or work in a different way.
Even though the freedom is something I wanted and a good reason why I left the office world, I’m still trying to learn that it’s OK to work differently than my husband, my friends, and anyone else who is in an office. I’m still trying to be comfortable with how I work and still learning exactly how that is.
Elsewhere