Sept. 19, 2002
The energy I had when I came home from my trip soon turned to feeling overwhelmed.
An unexpected visit from a dear friend took up three days of work. I have plans for this weekend, an appointment next week, several parties coming up, another trip, a conference and a volunteer program to start. My schedule is booked until January.
It has literally been a year since I’ve spent a solid month at home and when I am home, I seem to be out. It’s my fault – I take on too much without asking if I really should.
Working hard at one, two or even three things I can handle. But I’ve put my foot in every pool and I’m even though I’m only half way in each, I’m drowning. I took the energy I had and used it up within a week. I’ve rendered myself useless so quickly and this isn’t the first time it’s happened.
I’m a believer that you’re handed the same problem over and over in various forms until you honestly figure it out. Feeling stressed over my schedule has given me a wake-up call to stop this pattern.
I have to stop trying to do everything I want because I just simply can’t. I end up doing some things half ass’ed, losing interest in others and resenting my work. I’m overloaded because I shouted YES! Now I have to figure out how to politely say no.
There are some commitments I can’t back out of, but there are some that I can. I will declutter my schedule, slow down on incoming projects, get back to my routine and focus. I’ll also try to find a month (or perhaps even two) where I won’t have to leave the home, have guests over or think of anything other than a few work projects.
I’ll also try to spend some time alone – without trying to write, create or be inspirational. It’s hard, however, when your home and office are one and you have done nothing but eat, sleep and breathe your work for the past year.
I’m at the point where I literally need to be forced to slow down. This is where a gift certificate to the local spa would come in handy.