Since October, writing has been my last priority because I, like everyone else, sometimes has the need to take a holiday from the daily grind.

Without any writing to do, I found myself with an unsatisfied life as I had ignored all my other wants and passions for the sake of “being a writer.”I didn’t realise how much I had resented not doing other things because I was hiding behind the comfort of what I had become. Even when you’re doing something you want to do, Being “just a writer” or known as “the girl who writes” didn’t satisfy me because I feel more than those titles. However, I didn’t know how much more because I was hiding behind the comfort of what I had become. Even when you’re doing something you want to do, you can still get trapped.

Art has always been a huge passion of mine but I’ve been a shadow artist for so long; gladly encouraging my very artistic best-friend while feeling like I could never do what she does. However lately my desire to get active in art has been outweighing any fear. With no writing to be done, it seemed like now was as perfect time as any to dip the brush in ink.

When I mentioned this to a friend I did so with a slight tremble – was I really ready I asked her. What if I sucked.

As any good friend would do, she gave me brilliant advice. She said, “My assignment for you: do the SUCKIEST painting you can possibly do!”

And I did.

Without the need to perfect my work and no obligation to show others or write about it, I realised that it didn’t matter that in the end my drawings were unrecognisable because I was completely mesmerized with the process of creating them.

So I drew more.

Over time as I became more and more comfortable with drawing, my drawings became more and more recognisable. And instead of fearing a blank canvas, I feel in love with it and coloured pencils.

This lead me to creating Christmas cards for friends and family, cross-stitching my Christmas stockings, playing Go-Go girl to the radio and writing silly, useless stories just for the fun of it.

I’ve been able to finally get over my fear of participating in art and calling myself an artist. I don’t worry about judgments or outcomes, I just worry now if I have enough paint.

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