Dec. 05, 2003
Her reasons were clear; she wouldn’t represent my book because she didn’t believe it could sell as it was. The agent explained that if I changed my book to reflect the style of Julia Cameron or SARK not only would she work with me, but I would have a very successful book.
The only problem with that is that it wouldn’t be my book.
Maybe it’s naive of me to hold my ground and get my vision published. I know it’s definitely harder. Yet if I give in and change it to meet someone else’s vision, I feel that everything I written in the book wouldn’t be able to hold true. Doing something just for the sake of doing it rather than because I want to do it, well, that’s not what my book is about.
Rejecting the chance to have fantastic representation or to be published makes me wonder if it’s the right thing to do. A huge chunk of me says it is because I believe in authenticity and doing what you need to do, but a small part of me thinks I’m daft because how do I know what’s best for the publishing world. Perhaps the Agents and Publishers know more in this area than I. Where’s the line between being steadfast and being stupid?
I keep asking myself what is my goal with my book? What is my motivation? Is it money, to be published, for fame? Money is a partial motivator because I’ve put so much effort into it that I believe I deserve to get paid for it. Getting published is also a motivation because I believe in this book so much and if these journal have so far affected thousands who only have web access, imagine how many more creative souls could come forth if there was a book. Fame? No, because this book isn’t about me – it’s about anyone with a dream.
It’s hard for me to think with all the hits, feedback and media attention that this site has received that the journals as they are wouldn’t work. Although I adore SARK books and have found comfort from Julia Cameron’s The Artists Way, I do not write those style of books nor do I come from the same angle as those writers. I’m different.
There’s still hope with a publisher that I sent my work to months ago. Perhaps they’ll publish me because my work is my own and not an imitation of someone else.
After all, that’s how it’s worked so far. But is it enough?