How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone. Coco Chanel
I had to do something recently that I rarely do – look at my web sites statistics. For purposes of marketing for my book, I had to check out exactly how many people are coming, from where and why. I had to get in touch with the audience.
It was an uncomfortable process for me because over a year ago, I decided I didn’t want to know how many people came and what people said. This came about after a swarm of insecurity hit me after reading one nasty review of my site despite the fact there were dozens of positive ones. Also, one day there was a drop in hits and this made me feel like I was writing poorly; it didn’t matter that the next day and following weeks the number kept increasing.
After these experiences, I heard Meg Ryan say how she never reads any press about herself at all; she said she didn’t want to feel like she had to act a certain way or have her happiness depend on someone she didn’t know. That made sense to me and from that moment, I gave up on ever finding out what people say about me or my writings.
My sites receive a lot of attention but I’m unaware of it unless someone tells me and even then, most of the time I don’t look into it. I have a filter for this – my husband. If a site reviews me I ask him to read it. He then only reports to me if I should mention it under the Press section by saying It’s a go� Perhaps it’s extreme, a little odd, but it keeps me from worrying or trying to appease. It helps keep me real and free to create as I need to.
