April 29, 2004
I secretly wrote an email to KEXP, one of the most fabulous radio stations ever (and it streams via the internet as well) to see if somehow, I could get permission for my husband to see Air play live in their studio today.
My email was rather cheeky though terribly sincere. It said:
To my surprise, Cheryl from the station wrote me back and said, “Come down today at 2:15.”
We were there at 2.
We sat in the recording booth with the engineer and three other people and that was it. We watched Air play but what was most interesting was all that they said. It’s my understanding that they don’t do a lot of radio interviews or performances and, when doing interview, don’t actually talk that much. But they answered all the questions with so much thought and information, that for Chris, that was the real treat because it was answers to questions he had about his own music and ways of thinking.
He wants to be in music and I think seeing this intimate performance showed him his own possibilities. It made his dream real in a way that it wasn’t before. I told him that this experience felt like the one I had at his age where I met someone who showed me my own dream and made it possible. And look where I am.
What this also taught me was that a lot of people always say, “Why don’t things like that happen to me?” but that they never ask for what they want. I asked to go to the radio station and it happened. I sometimes wonder how many more rock stars we’d have if people didn’t sit and wait for things to be handed to them.
April 28, 2004
“How does one become a butterfly?” she asked pensively.“You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpiller.”
- Trina Paulus, Writer.
Don’t forget to say “thanks”
I receive a lot of email and most of the time, it’s people asking for advice on making a creative dream real. Sometimes, I’m able to sit down and reply to these emails, offering my experience or pointing the person in a direction of information that might be more beneficial.
To reply to these emails generally takes a lot of time; time that’s not paid, time that’s taken away from work, from my personal life, from rest. But I do it as much as I can because I believe in trying to help others.
But lately, I’ve been less inclined to reply to people because despite answering thousands and thousands of emails over the years, I’ve probably only ever received a handful of “thank-you’s” afterwards.
Some replies I’ve given have been long and detailed, with URLS, research and lots of information. However, I never hear anything back. No thank-you, thanks for the time, this was useful this wasn’t – nothing.
That seems wrong to me.
It’s not that I’m asking for praise, money or a big woo hoo but a simple “thank-you” would be so appreciated. I find that word is lacking a lot in this culture of expectation. I think that has to change.
April 26, 2004
This quote, I think, offers very freeing words; that there is no key to life. There is no “right way,” special road, or particular order.
When people ask me, “How do I become creative/start a business/get happy/do art/etc.” what they’re really saying is, “My world is locked, please give me your key.”
What they don’t realise is, there truly isn’t a key because, as the quote suggests, nothing is locked. There is no pursuit hidden from us, it only seems like that when we’re on one side of the door and want to be on the other. We make assumptions that the door can’t just be opened; there has to be some secret to it. So instead of just reaching for the knob, we sit and wonder where the key is.
I think the difference between a dream and reality is just simply trying. Fear and being overwhelmed create excuse after excuse as to why we can’t do something and often hold us back from thinking of what really is possible. Also, we tend to think on grand scales because dreams are huge. So instead of thinking how, after a day of work we could scribble down company names for five minutes, we instead think about how do I open a shop, pay my bills, create art and leave my current job. We often get ahead of ourselves which causes us to think everything impossible. So instead of trying, we hold out for a key.
The truth is, nothing is ever locked. Just do a simple step today and reach for the knob. You can turn it tomorrow and open the door the next.
April 25, 2004
Thanks to spring, insomnia and a realisation, there’s a new design for the first time here at Girl at Play.
It began when I was brewing tea one rather sleepy afternoon (the time when most thoughts seem to come to me). As I was rinsing out the tea pot in the sink, I looked straight ahead at the photograph of me sitting on the Hans Christian Anderson statue in Copenhagen. I took that picture in February 2001 when I was an unhappy executive. I had just come from visiting my cousins in Odense who took me to visit Andersen’s childhood home there. Although I had read his books and poetry since childhood and knew a little of his vagabond ways, it wasn’t until that trip that I became so charmed by him and his life. I remember sitting on the statue thinking, “Oh how I wish to one day have a life like his.”
Little did I know that several months later I’d quit my job and pursue writing.
I hung that picture of him and I up on the wall to remind me of what I would one day like to become; a writer, an artist, a traveller, a speaker, a friend, an enthusiast of life and creativity and in some ways, a comfort. On most days, I’d forget about the picture hanging on my kitchen wall but I’d seldom forget what I wanted to become.
However, when I looked at that picture a couple of weeks ago, the little blond hairs on my arms raised. I realised at that moment that I had done it. I had achieved my goal of having a life like his.
I was now a writer, an artist, a travellers, a friend, an enthusiast of life and creativity and in some ways, a comfort.
Sometimes a person gets so busy being in the process that they never step back and see the results. I, on a lot of levels, still saw myself as this beginner, this girl struggling, trying, one day hoping to make it. But looking at that picture as the tea blew I realised I’m not that same girl I was three years ago; I’m so much more. It was such a surreal moment.
As I sipped my tea I began to think of all the changes that have happened and how they’ve been reflected; my flat is now filled with lots of painted walls, artwork created by me, simple furnishings, lots of flowers and a general sense of ease and happiness. My clothes are also filled with colour, lots of skirts from Anthropologie, ribbons for my hair and bright, beautiful jewellery. Gone are the corporate and stiffed bitter friends, replaced by a bunch of rock stars that inspire me and give me a good ass kicking when needed. Airline stubs clog my bags instead of corporate reports and my books of how to’s are replaced by fun reading and glossy magazines from France. And that’s just a tip of the change.
But the one area things hadn’t changed was on the web. Despite liking the simple design that had been GirlatPlay.com for three years, it no longer reflected who I was. It didn’t have the colour, vibrancy, fun, life, art, confidence or calmness that my work and my life now possessed. I wanted to exude those things because I’m finally catching up with myself.
So on Friday at just a little after 11 at night, I sat at the computer and coded, designed and drank (herbal) tea until 7AM. And this is what I got.
Although the next couple of weeks will surely be bringing tweaks (putting in new pictures so my mug isn’t on every page, adding to the resources and sidebars as well as finding every typo!) for now, I’m rather pleased.
The inside seems to be matching the outside.