Quote
I heard this quote the other day and it’s been stuck in my mind for the mere fact it’s so very, very true:
The best advice? Do it.
If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If you don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place. Nora Roberts
July 05, 2004
Generally not one for museums or dishing about art work (Ah, yes, I see the history of humanities suffering in that yellow blob) I was unexplainable eager to see the van Gogh exhibit at the Seattle Art Museum.
Although I own volumes of his letters and writings, his artwork was a mystery to me. All I knew was he was it when it came to great artists. His works was posters for crying out loud! When people thought of important works of art his name would always come up. His work is so far up the scale that mere mortals were never supposed to do what he did. He�s an icon, a legend, a master.
Because of this, I had always had the notion he was born this way. He came out of the womb with a brush and went to work. His style was always there � or so I believed.
The exhibit showed some of his famous paintings and portraits but what they also showed were his drawings. This is where I spent most of my time because this is where I received a lesson.
Van Gogh had tried several (unsuccessful) careers before he decided to pursue art at 27. And when he first began he made simple sketches of life around him. In the drawings on display one could see some of his mistakes, hard lines, and sometimes shabby movements. What struck me most about these images was how simple they were, drawn by a man who was trying to learn.
When he first began to paint he mimicked other artists and their way of doing things; he didn�t have a style, direction or vision. His way of painting – the greatness – would happen later on, after years of practice and confidence. It also wouldn’t be recognised until after his death for during the rest of his life, he was just a man who tried to paint.
Sometimes, we remove the humanity from great people; putting them on pedestals so high they become separated from us. We think we can never obtain their greatness because we aren�t where they are. What we should think is we aren�t where they are yet. For we all have to start somewhere to become something.
May 11, 2004
On my walk along the lake this morning, I saw an old woman painting effortlessly. Each stroke was fluid, quick and creating something amazing. I stood and watched her movements for a few moments and then asked her what her secret to painting was.
“I don’t paint from here,” she said pointing to her head, “but from here” and then placed her hand over her heart.
I understood.
Two years ago I had a conversation with a woman who told me the same thing and it changed my life. She told me that I had been living far too much from my head and it was time to follow my heart. She told me it would be difficult and it was – at first.
So much importance on money, on being right, on not making mistakes, of not looking foolish, of doing the right thing that we often forget just to live and do. That’s why we envy children so much. They do as they please not because of lack of knowledge but because they have a lack of fear of listening to themselves. They haven’t learned to think about their actions. They just do them.
When I first started to paint, I would stop more than I would continue. It was always wrong, always ugly. Each stroke was painful and completely overanalysed. It wasn�t fun at all.
One day I was tired of all the attempts and feeling like crap about it all so I promised myself that for one month, I would paint in secret. I wouldn’t tell anyone, wouldn’t show anyone and wouldn’t have any expectations. I’d keep every ugly painting I made and attach no head thoughts to it.
It was the best thing I could have done because after awhile, I stopped thinking and just began doing. After awhile, my pictures looked less textbook and more like me. After awhile, I stopped hiding them and started selling them.
I think this lesson can be applied to many things, even bigger than just painting. When people ask me about living out a dream they want all the practical information so that they can satisfy their head. But really, what should happen first, is satisfying the heart. The heart is what makes you live.
Listening to my heart made me realise I had to leave the corporate world. Listening to my heart kept me going when I was really scared about being a writer. Listening to my heart changed everything and allowed me to live authentically and well – something I didn’t think possible when I was thinking about every detail in my head and living out my life in thoughts only.
I think everyone’s heart is always trying to tell them something. Sometimes it says, “go on, you can do it.” Or “Yes, that’s right, this is what you should do.” Sometimes the heart has warnings, saying loudly, “I’m hurting. Don’t do that anymore.” It’s the inner-voice we often ignore because of fear (although we often use the word “practical” instead of “fear”). But the moment you no longer ignore you heart and move from it, something amazing happens – authenticity and joy.
It’s hard, at first, to listen to your heart and to move from it. Even if you’ve been doing it for a while one can become lazy and then have to start the process all over again (like me). But it’s crucial. It’s crucial to surviving, it’s crucial to authentic happiness and it’s crucial to painting without effort.
What is your heart saying? More importantly, what are you going to do about it?
April 28, 2004
“How does one become a butterfly?” she asked pensively.“You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpiller.”
- Trina Paulus, Writer.
April 26, 2004
This quote, I think, offers very freeing words; that there is no key to life. There is no “right way,” special road, or particular order.
When people ask me, “How do I become creative/start a business/get happy/do art/etc.” what they’re really saying is, “My world is locked, please give me your key.”
What they don’t realise is, there truly isn’t a key because, as the quote suggests, nothing is locked. There is no pursuit hidden from us, it only seems like that when we’re on one side of the door and want to be on the other. We make assumptions that the door can’t just be opened; there has to be some secret to it. So instead of just reaching for the knob, we sit and wonder where the key is.
I think the difference between a dream and reality is just simply trying. Fear and being overwhelmed create excuse after excuse as to why we can’t do something and often hold us back from thinking of what really is possible. Also, we tend to think on grand scales because dreams are huge. So instead of thinking how, after a day of work we could scribble down company names for five minutes, we instead think about how do I open a shop, pay my bills, create art and leave my current job. We often get ahead of ourselves which causes us to think everything impossible. So instead of trying, we hold out for a key.
The truth is, nothing is ever locked. Just do a simple step today and reach for the knob. You can turn it tomorrow and open the door the next.