WHAT: Subversive Collaborators

The truly “kick-ass” people in our organizations, don’t wait for permission to lead, innovate, or strategize. They do what is right for the firm, regardless of status. They bring a combination of “curiosity and passion” which Thomas Friedman once said “are key components in a world where information is readily available to everyone and global markets reward those people.” There’s a different set of rules and assumptions by which we’ll thrive and succeed in this new, networked society, and it comes down to this: while you can be a rebel or a subversive without being a leader, you can rarely be an effective leader without also having a little bit of rebel in you.

I’m not one to repost but this one that I wrote in 2008 just seemed perfect for this New Year’s day when everyone is judging all that didn’t happen in 2010 and talking about what could happen in 2011.

So I offer this post again to all of us so that we can go from basking in new year’s glow of possibility to actually doing all that we can this year and beyond. I’m in if you are:

Please go out there and do. Live. Don’t be the same as yesterday. Don’t live vicariously online. Don’t use language that has no meaning or talk ideas you don’t really live. Don’t hide. Don’t copy others or live their ideas or life. Don’t fear doing your thing. Don’t fear doing. Instead of reading a decorating magazine, paint that room. Instead of thinking of baking, do up a cake. Run, walk, bike. Put that self help book down and pick up yourself.

Let go of the snark, your worries, your anger and fear and give into possibility, action, joy and life. Do. Do some more. Stop thinking about you. Stop blogging about just you and your kid and your pet. There’s a world out there to connect to, really connect to and email doesn’t count. Being of use is more important than being popular. Think about the lady down the street, the person at the drive through, the man fallen in the street, about politics, the environment, healthcare, another country and then do something about it. Never stop at thinking.

Dream big, work harder. Have lots of fun, lift a finger, do something for someone else. Cheer your friends on. Cheer yourself up. Celebrate as much as possible. Enjoy everything. Right now. It’s OK to want more and do more but be present with where you are or who you are with. Don’t rush the situation – even if it’s bad. Move on when you can. Don’t settle. Try everything you can and get over everything holding you back.

Go outside. Go outside yourself. Make a difference, make some change. Don’t complain about someone unless you’re talking to that someone. Don’t complain about a situation you’re not willing to make better. They don’t have it better and you don’t have it worse. Don’t make excuses. You’ll never see possibility if you do. And you’re smart and worth more than settling for a life of complaining and limitation.

Hope. Hope more. Give someone else hope. Get healthy and contribute to a healthy environment. Think about everything you do, you buy, you say. Only be lazy on Sunday and even then, be conscious. Rest is useful, giving up is not.

Live with a light heart. Play more. Remember what it’s like to be seven. Remember to listen to a seven year old because you just have more words and life experience, not necessarily more wisdom. Have more questions than answers and don’t put everything into words. Sometimes just feel things and be. Be quiet more often, listen harder, talk exactly as you mean to.

Strive for your best and not what you think someone elses’ best is. Follow through. Don’t let others’ down. Don’t let yourself down. You are better than your circumstances. Ask for what you’re worth. Make magic happen don’t wish for it. Don’t envy others’ lives, envy yours. Live it fully. Teach by example how to live well, how to be treated, how to be kind, how to be alive.

Do. I can’t stress that one enough. Take action on your life. Make the change. No more sulking, waiting, thinking, reading, talking about. It’s time. You’re ready.

“If we as designers can learn to fight the urge for quick answers and focus more on unique, lasting solutions that revolve around defining problems, there’s a chance to turn it all around. Finding new appreciation for both concept and execution (and their relationship to each other) will spark greater conversation within our communitity about how and why design is important in the first place.” from Consumption: How Inspiration Killed, Then Ate, Creativity.

It’s too easy for us to get caught up in the vision we’re driving towards and ignore our own health and well-being along the way. If you can have a life while you run your business — if you can lead a healthy, well-rested, diverse life, that is, rather than a workaholic one — your clarity, productivity, and creativity will all benefit. And those aren’t things that are just nice to have — they’re critical to your success as an entrepreneur.

from Lauren Bacon’s (of The Boss of You: Everything A Woman Needs to Know to Start, Run, and Maintain Her Own Business) blog post for Biz Ladies 09: HR for the Self-Employed: Perk Up!

For those of us who have been seriously blocked at times–and man, I have been there and can still be there–sometimes the hardest thing to do is to just DO the work ANYWAY (see the first two years of this blog).  I can tell you that when I was blocked I was NOT short on ideas, inspiration, or plans, what I was short on was patience, humility, and action.  I loved the IDEA of creating in a concrete way, but for the longest time I was not willing to be bad or a beginner again.  I was in love with my own history as an artist–the times I was flowing with work or living what I perceived looking back as an idyllic time.  I combed over my songs, my poems, my art that I had completed like precious, frozen love affairs that I could not leave behind.  The truth was I just needed to sit down and DO.  What this required was willing to feel like a complete loser, to be boring, to be really BAD, and to live with the shame and pain of leaving behind my perfect, frozen past, and admit to where I really was–as imperfect and unromantic as it was.

From Tough Love by Summer Pierre

15 years ago I cleaned toilets in an historic, fancy hotel. Now I write about such hotels and get paid for it. I even was sent on assignment to write about the one I once cleaned.

8 years ago I moved to America. I made $7,000.00 that year and had to weigh apples to make sure I could afford them. Now, eat 3 apples each day. Sometimes 4.

5 years ago I was in a job I hated and wanted something else. Now, I choose happiness and everything else.

Today, I’m incredibly happy.

That all sounds so fabulous, so happy, so content so absolutely easy and charmed. I can hear it now – the “Oh that Alex, of course that happens to her. Everything is easy when you are fearless and do things” But the truth is, I am not fearless at all – I just don’t give into being fearfull.

I learned this weekend that fear is not a unique feeling whatsoever. In every talk I gave, the question I kept being asked was, “How do you get over the fear of rejection, the fear of failure, the fear of being blown off, the fear of looking stupid, the fear of it not working out and…” well, you’re a creative person – I’m sure you can add a few more fears on your own.

My answer was (and is) always the same – just get over it and do it anyway.

This is not a very welcomed answer. I don’t think when I first say this that I am popular and I understand why. When you are so afraid to fail, to be rejected, to look like an ass the natural tendency is to avoid doing anything but. The fear outweighs the possible joy. So most people look for a guaranteed way to win, to be published, to make art, to ask for money and so forth before beginning. And, guess what, most people then never begin.

A couple of weeks before the conference I became quite ill. At first, like any sane person I hated it. I couldn’t wait to get better. But as the day to leaving for the conference drew nearer and nearer secretly kept hoping that I’d stay sick. That the doctor would prolong bed-rest. That somehow I would get a “get out of conference” sick card so that I wouldn’t have to go.

The reason? I was afraid that it would be a bad experience and I wanted to avoid a bad experience.

My last conference was several years ago and I hated being a speaker at it. It was bitchy, competitive, and far too elitist (as a speaker you weren’t encouraged to really mix with attendees – you were there to spout out information, promote your book, pretend to care from a distance than walk away because you had nothing to learn from the minions). Other authors gave me high-school girl stares and whispered behind my back for reasons that I still don’t know. It was draining, it was boring, it was a complete waste of time and I vowed to never, ever do it again.

Never say never.

Last year when I was asked to participate in The Women Writers Conference I was hesitant. It was in Lexington KY where my husband lived and we hadn’t been back in seven years (perhaps it was time?). And the director assured me this would be about connecting and that I’d get just as much from those who came to hear me speak as they’d get from me. And so I said yes.

But as it grew closer the fear from the bad experience became more and more powerful. I even started inventing fears – what if no one shows up? What if someone falls asleep and snores, what if they shoot spit-balls, what if I forget what I’ve done, what if what I’ve done isn’t enough? What if I spill coffee on my white dress just before I go on (I don’t even normally drink coffee) and so on and so on.

However, like with any fear, the only way to remove it is to work through it and so I did. I got on the plane, I went to the conference, I did what I could and it became something more than I thought. Had I just given into fear or let the bad experiences rule out all others, well, I’m sure you can guess the lesson.

I’m currently typing this on a plane, heading back to LA, ready to be home. I’m sure I could have written this later but the typing takes my mind off the flying* – this literally helps me work through my fear. Yes, despite the fact that for the past fourteen years I travelled extensively and been a travel writer for two of those years (which has required a trip per month on average), I fear flying. Hate it. In a panic over it. So certain that, despite wearing my lucky bracelet, the plane will crash. No. Matter. What.

But I always get on a plane and get to where I need to go in spite of the fear. It’s just that simple.

When we are afraid, we want the fear to go away. We think that’s what will make everything easy for us. Remove the block for a smooth ride ahead. But the truth is, sometimes you can’t remove the fear or you might even manifest more. And sometimes, saying we are too afraid to do something s really just a fancy, polite “make ourselves feel better” way of saying we can’t. It’s resistance. And the only way to get over fear is to do the work. To show up. To not have anymore excuses.

Without the risk, without working through it, without just trying there is possibility to achieve your dream. If you give into the fear of rejection you won’t have an article published, a book in print, a gallery show. If you give into the fear of being brushed off you won’t have clients, an agent, a class. If you fear the trip you won’t ever get to the destination.

But with effort, with a little bravery, and a little step even with a fast beating heart, will eleviate fears more than you know. In fact, it’ll help prepare you for all the other ones us clever creative people will always create. (The upside is that as a creative person, you can also invite things to not be scared of, too.)

A really great song for when you’re afraid or stuck in a rut is “Stuck in a Moment” by U2. What is interesting to this song is that Bono wrote it when he was thinking of Michael Hutchens, lead singer for INXS who later hung himself. My favourite line, and I think the one most powerful, is the one which explains when you choose not to leap:

So, then. There will always be fear. It is unrealistic to say you want to get rid of fear entirely because you never will and you’ll always have that excuse to cling to. Instead, just get over the fear, work through it, do something in spite of it. You’ll be amazed at how easy a habit that can become.

*This flight has been perhaps the most bumpiest, scariest I’ve been on in a very long time. We’ve been flying through a midwest storm for half an hour and the plane goes up and down almost as fast as my heart. It scares the bejesus out of me and so I keep typing just the same, knowing shortly I’ll land on my feet. One always does.

So instead of sharing every detail of my work, I quietly went about my own business and let it flourish without the spotlight. Chances are if you’ve picked up a major travel magazine or read the travel section of any US or Canadian newspaper you’ve seen my work. My photographs have been in galleries from London to Vancouver and my artwork has been in stores and on book covers. I’ve been working on major movie sets doing everything from stand-in work to production coordination. Despite being quiet on the web, I’ve been living loudly, happily, and successfully. In fact, I’ve been more productive, more creative and more successful since becoming private about my work – probably due to the fact that instead of taking time to write about it, question it and over think it with a blog-thought, I was just all action.

A couple of years ago I stopped reading artists blogs, books, websites, creative ideas and trying to validate everything. I just did what I wanted and what worked and let everything fall as it may. Although one can find inspiration from others and their work, I think it’s more important to just do the work you’re capable of without judging it or comparing it to where others are. You shouldn’t be keeping a scorecard or trying to prove something to an audience.

Art is about expressing what’s in you without judgment and ego. For me, that means to do anything and everything that pops into my head, continue making a great living at it, enjoying all the great bits and messy ones but never having to explain what it is I do. That freedom is what allows me to keep moving forward and working every step of the way.

It wasn’t money that got me to where I am, it wasn’t years of education, contacts, superpowers, conferences, or books. What got me to where I am is the simple act of making a decision and following through no matter what.

It is possible. Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise. And don’t ever buy into the sales pitch that it only happens to others, that you have to buy their books, do it their way, mimic their life, have to have their hair, clothes, connections. All you need is you and the ability to say, “Today, I am going to do what I need to do – however it needs to be done, in any way I can, and for as long as it takes. I will.”