May 05, 2004
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. Anais Nin
Every few months I seem to develop a theme that encompasses a lesson I need to learn. It usually takes awhile for me to discover that I�m in the midst of a theme and what it is, but once aware, I notice examples of the theme all over.
My current theme is learning how to be ok with being shiny as my friend Julie Valentine calls it. But I’ve discovered a second theme which really isn’t for me, it’s for whoever needs it, and it’s based on an idea I’ve been talking about over and over on this site the last month.
It has to do with beginning something in any way you can despite any fear that may be there. It�s to become the butterfly, become the forest, become the blossom. It’s going in the direction of your creative dream because the pain of standing still is greater than the fear of moving forward. It�s believing that a dream mixed with action equals reality.
Mostly, it’s the theme of being who you really are meant to be.
I firmly believe that in each of us lies an authentic self that is happy only when we unleash our dreams and become who we should be. Happiness isn’t based on how much money you make, how many fans you have or all the limo rides you get to take. It’s about going to bed content because you know you’ll wake up tomorrow with a life that you want (even during rough patches).
People often hold back because they want to know how to pay the rent and that’s one of the worst reasons to hold back. If money is a concern, work around it. Keep a regular job and paint at night. Go part time at the office and full time as a writer. Get a grant, a loan, a patron. Save your pennies whilst figuring out your dream at night. Cut back on shopping, get a smaller flat, explore free galleries instead of renting 7 movies a week. Get creative about money but don’t get creative with excuses as to why you’re holding back.
Speak your truth and bloom, right now. It’s spring and you’re ready.
May 04, 2004
One day the Buddah presented a seed to a group of acolytes. “What do you see?” the Buddah asked. “A seed,” they all agreed. “Look harder,” said the Buddah. “It is the entire forest.”
Often, we ignore what we think insignificant because it doesn’t seem to have anything to do with the bigger picture. I’ve heard so many people say, “What does that have to do with anything?” with regards to their dream.
But every little thing and detail is connected to something bigger and sometimes is the bigger thing, just not yet.
In a previous post, I mentioned how sometimes a person gets so far ahead of themselves they become overwhelmed and do nothing. But what they really should be doing is looking at the importance of something small and how it can lead to something bigger.
The seed is the entire forest.
People always want the entire dream right now without realising that tiny steps over a period of time make that dream up. Those tiny steps could be thinking of a name of the company, buying new pens to write notes with, writing for ten minutes at night after a day of 9-5, emailing a person for advice, picking up a book on business or sitting down to paint one picture. There has to be somewhere to start, just as there has to be one place to end.
One of my favourite quotes (I collect them as I collect tea. I’m learning how to share both) is from the book, The Power of One. In this book a young man, PeeKay, wants to teach a very small group of blacks in South Africa to read. His teacher questions this, reinforcing that it’s only a handful of people he’d be teaching and what would that really change? To which Peekay responds, “A waterfall begins with one drop, and look what comes from that.”
Possibility lies in the smallest of things. It�s up to us to recognise that and do something with it, rather than wasting time for a big moment that might never come otherwise.
April 28, 2004
“How does one become a butterfly?” she asked pensively.“You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpiller.”
- Trina Paulus, Writer.
Jan. 29, 2004
Emira Mears, of Soap Box Girls, sent me this note about a fantastic retreat that she is a part of on Cortes Island BC in June 2004. I thought I’d share the information in case anyone else is interested.
Lauren and I have been a part of the planning process and are really eager to involve dynamic and creative young women entrepreneurs, freelancers etc. where possible. It is a bit pricey, so if you are keen or know women who are, I can try to get scholarship information for you as there will be a few scholarships. Also, if you know of any folks who might want to sponsor such an event, I can pass that info on as well, but for now the basics of the conference are here.The event is limited to 65 women and spaces are filling fast. Please check out the web site for more information, the agenda to date, and to register online for the conference.
January 05, 2004
In December I made my way to Portland OR with the intention of popping quickly into a bazaar hosted by the fabulous Alicia Paulson and getting a Christmas present or two. What I got, however, was my own office.
My flat at the time was a small one bedroom with one closet that I shared with my husband, cat and fish. Instead of using the word cramped, we used the word cosy as it was, especially since we had used every Ikea idea with regards to using space. The dining room nook had been set up as a make shift office for me, but really, I hardly ever used it. With my husband in school he did his homework on the computer a lot so I couldn’t leave my papers, paints and tools laying about. With only one closet in the whole place I couldn’t really store them either. I bought a little table to use but that quickly became a storage table for the both of us.
I thought, that’s just the way it is. That’s how it will work and didn’t ever think of any other possibilities. That is, until I met Alicia.
Leaving the hotel in Portland a day early due to a bad experience there, I called Alicia up for advice on what to do. “Stay with me!” she said excitedly, and I did. Little did I know that stepping inside her home would change everything.
Her home was a house full of colour, texture and design; it was the right combination of shabby chic, girlishness and modern flair. Her office space, however, is what struck me. A large room with my favourite colour – pink – all abound. Large windows, a huge table in the middle with storage all over the walls. Her style and office was so opposite to what mine was and then I realised at that moment I had a problem.
I was a pink girl without any pink in my home. I was a big table working girl without a big table to work on. I liked to have storage boxes out and I didn�t have a place to put them. I didn’t have a place of my own, that was my style and comfort. I didn�t have this because I kept thinking that my whole flat was ‘mine’ when it fact, it wasn’t – I had to share it with a husband, cat and fish and take their stylings into account (although I confess the fish had very little input).
My husband who was on this trip also became deeply inspired by Alicia’s home and husband – who was a musician just like mine and had a set – up like the one my husband wanted. On the trip home we realised we each needed a space of our own; a place we could decorate without having to worry about the others taste, where we could leave books or music around without having to worry about moving them for the next person and a place that felt like ours. We decided to move.
We wrote down a list of exactly what we wanted and the next day, we found it. Two weeks later we moved in and Ive been puttering in my new office with a smile on my face and hes been playing music happily in his.
Despite their being an increased cost to moving, theres an increased benefit. I feel like I am valuing myself and my work by allowing myself my very own space. By having a dedicated place for my work now, I find I am taking myself more seriously yet relaxing more with it all at the same time. I also feel a new creative spark because the pink in me can come out. As can the ribbons, paints, rosy cushions and big table.
Virginia Woolf first wrote about the concept of a room of ones own and I think now that concept holds even more truth. With busy and crammed lives, we each need a space to call our own, where we can create safely, privately and happily without having to worry about cleaning it up, moving it around or decorating it nice for guests, husbands or family. If a whole room cant be taken, a nook, a desk, a wall should be set aside for you and your creativity.
So that if youre a pink or blue girl you can have those colours out. If you like to read you have a place that�s set just aside for you and your books. If youre a painter you have a dedicated table for your supplies so you don’t have to hunt for them each time. However you make your space work is fine, just as long as you have a space.
November 21, 2003
One of the habits I’ve taken with me from my corporate days is the Friday Afternoon Wind down Ceremony which involves tidying up papers in the afternoon, getting the last of the emails out, putting the finishing touches on articles and then signing off for a couple of days.
I used to work twenty-four seven with writing until it left me tired, cranky and bitter with my job. Realising that if writing was to remain my passion, I’d have to give myself time away from it to keep enjoying it. That’s when I decided that I’d take the weekends off.
Now my weekends are reserved for projects that are purely fun and selfish. I have no worry of doing them on the weekend because I don’t feel they’re robbing me from ‘work.’ I can paint the picture I’ve been meaning to, indulge in an afternoon of reading, take a leisurely lunch at the cafe down the street or do absolutely nothing. I call this time my mini-vacation, my breathing space, my renewal.
This weekend I’ll be making Christmas cards, a process that will leave my flat beautifully disheveled with bits of bright paper flung everywhere. I’ll also catch-up on reading three recent book purchases, doing a bit of flat organisation and investigating that new peppermint mocha.
Despite taking weekends off, I sometimes become inspired and realise how to finish an article or begin a new one and will happily sit down to work for awhile. However, by having a routine of working just during the week, there isn’t the pressure to create amazing bits on the weekend, which allows me to relax and enjoy all parts of my life and keeps me balanced mentally, physically and creatively. In fact, it keeps me a Girl at Play.
RESOURCES:
- Keri Smith’s wonderful article on taking a mini-vacation.
- The book The Art of Doing Nothing: Simple Ways to Make Time for Yourself by Veronique Vienne.
- For helping your home get it’s energy going and make life simpler, read The Western Guide to Feng Shui by Terah Kathryn Collins.
- A tea break is always perfect, whether it be on the Friday afternoon wind down or during a Saturday morning reading spell. The act of brewing forces you to slow down and enjoy, as done sipping it from a pretty cup. Mighty Tea offers great samplers to create perfectly luxurious breaks.