June 08, 2002
When I started to look at my writing differently, things started to happen.
Instead of referring to it all the time as “my dream,” I began to call it what is was – my work. Instead of saying to people, “I’m busy writing” I said, “I’m busy working.”
I’m realising that I’m in business, I’m running my own company Girl at Play and that I was running away from the word “work” instead of running away from the word “corporate.”
Work is actually a good thing and I like it and once I realised that, my work schedule got very busy very quickly.
I think because I kept referring to what I’m doing as a “dream” all the time, I didn’t work as hard, thinking that, as in a dream, everything would just be handed to me. Now that I now I have to go and grasp everything no matter what contacts I have.
Also by treating myself like a business, I can do several different things. I write, speak, run workshops, run websites, communicate and support artists and other little things I’m still working on. I’m actually happier doing more and in spite of the bigger workload and schedule. By really concentrating on what I want and how to get it, I went from just talking about how I was living a dream, to actually living it by working in it.
May 23, 2002
I’ve been spending the last couple of weeks trying to learn about money – how to get it and once I have it, what to do with it.
There are several books I’m currently reading that have helped a lot with regards on how to make money through freelancing. The suggestions make sense to me and are things I can do and am excited about. The books also gave me information on taxes, which I’ve been really unclear of thus far, since I haven’t had an income. But now that I am going to start getting money for my writing, I’ve had to learn about it and figure out a few tricks.
I bought a notebook, which I tape every business receipt in and write a description, purpose, date & total. I’ve learned that a lot of things can be written against your income. And if it takes you a couple of years to make some income, you can write up to 3 years worth against it.
So the desk I bought last year, the shelves, the paper, the postage, the PO Box, all those receipts are now organised and ready to be used.
Microsoft money has also been keeping track of my spending, bills and whatnot. I’ve set up a special “Girl at Play” category so I can see where my spending is going with regards to supplies. Completely handy.
Being financially responsible is something I’ve had to really learn this past year since we’ve been living off of one modest income. I don’t want to jeopardise the security we’ve built on that by going crazy when money for writing starts to come in. Most of the incoming funds will go into savings, paying back my start-up debt and also some tucked away for taxes.
By understanding money, looking after it, working for it, and being careful with it, I feel a lot freer to just write. I don’t feel like there is this big black scary money hole anymore, because I’m taking charge.
May 22, 2002
From childhood to just before my corporate days, I had always been very creative with making money. I didn’t believe there was just one way you made it but instead, I believed that however you could make money, you should.
When I was twelve, despite the fact I had severe allergies, I used to hire a group of children to pick flowers/weeds from the local fields. I’d supervise them as they’d package the flowers into bundles and wrap them with foil. I’d give them directions on where to go to sell them and when they came back with a handful of money, I’d divide it up – twenty five cents for each of them and I’d take the rest which was usually around $10.
At 22, I used to find old furniture that had been dumped and refurbish it into something wonderful for extra money. Once, I found a beautiful, huge old oak table that weighed fifty million pounds and I worked on it for over two months. I sold it for $1500 – about a $1450 profit.
Being creative and relaxed with money changed as soon as I went corporate. That’s when I began to think that money only came if you worked behind a desk for 40 hours and some lady in a pantsuit handed you a check every two weeks.
I carried that belief as I became a freelance writer. That I had to write and then be paid for writing, and if I didn’t make a living at writing, I wasn’t really working.
With the pressure to make money at writing, the writing became less and less fun – the pressure was on to actually “do something” instead of just enjoy the process.
I realised today that I want to make money, but I’m not exactly picky about how I make it anymore. There’s no elitist feeling to saying I make my living as a writer. I’m not embarrassed if I get income some other way other than my current chosen career path nor do I think of myself as a failure. Money is money and as long as I enjoy making it, I’m going to make it any way I can, and it doesn’t change the fact that I’m a writer.
I’m still going to write full-time, I’m still going to make my living as a writer and when people as me what I do for a living, “Writer” is the first and only thing I’ll say. However I’m going to look into getting creative with making money again because it’s needed and it takes the pressure off of trying to get an income in only one way.
Exactly what my creative money making choices will be have yet to be seen. I’m selling art that will bring in a little extra income, I’m now offering to give speeches/talks/classes on the side because not only have I been asked to do this from different organisations, but because I’m good at it and really love to do it. There are summer jobs as art directors at camps that sound appealing and if all that fails I spotted a field of flowers nearby.
I know there are a lot of other creative ways to make money and I’m sure I’ll figure them out and try different ways. I’m approaching it as a fun, side thing like I used to do rather than a “have to or I’m going to feel like a loser” kind of thing. I’ve accepted I’m a creative person and therefor, can be creative about money.
I’m still a writer, that’s what I always will be. I just happen to be a writer who makes a little money from other places on the side.
April 30, 2002
I’ve taken back my writing and I’m going full steam ahead – this time it’s business.
Knowing that I didn’t make any money at writing last year doesn’t bother me, because last year it wasn’t about making money. Instead, it was about becoming comfortable with being a writer and myself I did that, I think, rather successfully.
However, now it’s time to start to make a living at being a writer, now that I am confident I am one. This is a new area for me, and like all new areas, it’s a bit scary and overwhelming. Sometimes I’m tempted to buckle at the pressure but instead, I’m learning to look at it as an adventure. Because in some regards, it is one.
This morning I had a talk with a friend of mine who also runs her own business. We were talking about at which point does it go from work to hobby, and is money the deciding factor. We also talked about how we were both getting honest with money – that it is important and you have to be realistic. Though, we discovered that sometimes being realistic about money is scary because if you don’t have it, you can feel like you’ve failed.
Although I’ve made some money it’s not near what I want and I know if I don’t start to make more soon I’ll be tempted to discard all the progress, publishing, relationships, and wonderful moments just because I don’t have a penny to show for any of it. I don’t want that to happen, I don’t want to ever think I’ve failed because I’m not rich.
Instead, I want to be able to prove that you can make a living, so it’s time for me to start.
I’ve found a whole bunch of books on marketing and writing for money and will start to buy them as soon as I, well, have money. A new copy of Writer’s Digest had some contests and some leads for writing, and I’ve already followed up on a couple of them. I’m investigating all options with regards to money – selling my artwork, selling books, selling more articles, expanding my writing to write anything. As long as it’s creative, it’s beneficial to me and I’m happy to do it, I’ll do it. I’m not so afraid of taking on jobs or doing other things that don’t have to do with writing, because I’m a writer now and that won’t change. But there’s this thing called survival and sometimes you have to do what you have to do.
Not that I’m looking for a part-time job or anything because I have to see if I can make money at writing first. I honestly haven’t tried that hard before because as I said, money didn’t matter. But with the computer breaking down, the car needing to be replaced and life just happening, money matters now.
And somehow, I just feel able to deal with it all now, and know it’ll all be ok.
April 19, 2002
Finally, a space opened up at the Post Office and it’s now official – I have a business address.
Somehow, having a PO Box seems to help me feel like I am now running a legitimate business, rather than just writing as a hobby. It helps to have business correspondence go to a private box rather than directly to my home. This way, the line between work and home is less blurred.
As well, having a box allows me to finally get some business cards, take payment online for my art and not have to worry about missing packages at my door.
It also just gives me a tidier, easy address than my home one, which is a good thing considering all the mailings I’m going to be sending out.
April 14, 2002
I never thought I had money issues because I would earn my money by working, I’d put some into savings, some to bills and some to a splurge now and then. Because I was so practical with money and always seemed to have it, I thought I had money all figured out.
I was wrong.
It wasn’t until recently when I read the profile of Emira & Lauren at Another Girl at Play, that I discovered that I had issues.
In their profile they said, “The thing we find ourselves telling people a lot is: Don’t undersell yourself. We’ve found that a lot of people — women especially — who are starting their own businesses don’t create business plans that will pay them enough to live well. It’s true that you may spend a few months, or even a couple of years, building up the business and scraping by (and racking up your credit cards), but you’ll burn out pretty quickly if you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. Plan to pay yourself what you’re worth.”
When I first read that, it really hit me although at the time I didn’t understand why. I thought I had begun to deal with finally making a living at writing by attempting to get paid, and so I was unsure of why hearing this piece of advice affected me as much as it did.
It wasn’t until a few weeks ago I discovered why. I was still selling myself short.
It’s not exactly a fear of being paid, but it’s defining what I’m worth that scares me. I am a giver – I’ll give anything away and usually do. And because I’d write for free, I have a hard time figuring out what something is worth and being comfortable with accepting payment for it.
buy art
For example, I had the idea to sell two of my most popular pieces of artwork because people had been asking about buying them. I was unsure at first but then as the need came about for a second computer, I decided I could put the money I would make from selling the art towards the goal of buying a second hand laptop.
I tried to figure out a reasonable price for the prints – calculated how much it would cost to print, package and ship them and added in some time and then compared my price to others that sold artwork. I calculated the price of the used laptop I have been eyeing and then figured out how many prints I’d need to sell to cover it. I had a goal, some artwork and some buyers. I thought it would be easy enough to sell them.
But when I created the website, put up the prints, sent out mailings to people, received a few orders, I began to become very uncomfortable. Strangely, it wasn’t the fear of selling artwork (I had been able to get over the issue of not thinking that I could ever be an artist. I realised by the simple fact that I create art, no matter how good or bad, I am an artist) but the fear of taking money for it.
People were willing to buy my prints. They wanted to hand me money. They were ready to give me my asking price without questions. Friends, strangers, family were sending me requests for my artwork. It was so uncomfortable and foreign to me that instead of instantly replying to them on where to send payment, I said nothing at all.
Then I checked up on the laptop I wanted, and it had been sold. Now, I didn’t have a goal I really began to think twice about selling artwork. At least with a goal, I rationalised that people were helping me out or supporting me. Without purpose, I felt like I was somehow being a fake with selling my artwork and was just about business.
Then I realised it is business! I have my own business. I need to make money at my business and that’s 100% ok! People were willing to pay me money for goods and there is nothing wrong with that.
I had declared what my artwork was worth and people responded to that without question. No one asked what the money was for, if I was really worth it or if they could have a discount because they knew me when I was 12. I was the only one who questioned the whole taking money thing and if I was worth receiving it. I was the only one who had issues with business and money. So I got over it.
I’m a business, that’s all there is to it. As much as I love doing this for free, I need to start making money at it. I’m sure that when I do start to make money, no one is going to tell me that’s it’s bad or wrong or who was I to get paid. Instead, people will probably say, “It’s about time you started to get paid for what you’re worth.”
I know that new businesses can take 3-5 years to before they see a profit, and that’s if they have their heads on straight. Mine’s been crooked with regards to money, because I never really thought about it or valued it as much as I need to. I’ve been spending the last year becoming comfortable with being a writer and doing all the head work with that, that I didn’t have time to also investigate the money side.
Now I have the time and the desire, so I’ve decided to become more serious about money by really pursuing paying jobs and being OK with being paid. Then I’m going to treat myself like a business come with business plan, savings, salary and everything else. That’s what will make the difference between writing for a hobby, and writing successfully for a living.