April 25, 2004

Thanks to spring, insomnia and a realisation, there's a new design for the first time here at Girl at Play.

It began when I was brewing tea one rather sleepy afternoon (the time when most thoughts seem to come to me). As I was rinsing out the tea pot in the sink, I looked straight ahead at the photograph of me sitting on the Hans Christian Anderson statue in Copenhagen. I took that picture in February 2001 when I was an unhappy executive. I had just come from visiting my cousins in Odense who took me to visit Andersen's childhood home there. Although I had read his books and poetry since childhood and knew a little of his vagabond ways, it wasn't until that trip that I became so charmed by him and his life. I remember sitting on the statue thinking, "Oh how I wish to one day have a life like his."

Little did I know that several months later I'd quit my job and pursue writing.

I hung that picture of him and I up on the wall to remind me of what I would one day like to become; a writer, an artist, a traveller, a speaker, a friend, an enthusiast of life and creativity and in some ways, a comfort. On most days, I'd forget about the picture hanging on my kitchen wall but I'd seldom forget what I wanted to become.

However, when I looked at that picture a couple of weeks ago, the little blond hairs on my arms raised. I realised at that moment that I had done it. I had achieved my goal of having a life like his.

I was now a writer, an artist, a travellers, a friend, an enthusiast of life and creativity and in some ways, a comfort.

Sometimes a person gets so busy being in the process that they never step back and see the results. I, on a lot of levels, still saw myself as this beginner, this girl struggling, trying, one day hoping to make it. But looking at that picture as the tea blew I realised I'm not that same girl I was three years ago; I'm so much more. It was such a surreal moment.

As I sipped my tea I began to think of all the changes that have happened and how they've been reflected; my flat is now filled with lots of painted walls, artwork created by me, simple furnishings, lots of flowers and a general sense of ease and happiness. My clothes are also filled with colour, lots of skirts from Anthropologie, ribbons for my hair and bright, beautiful jewellery. Gone are the corporate and stiffed bitter friends, replaced by a bunch of rock stars that inspire me and give me a good ass kicking when needed. Airline stubs clog my bags instead of corporate reports and my books of how to's are replaced by fun reading and glossy magazines from France. And that's just a tip of the change.

But the one area things hadn't changed was on the web. Despite liking the simple design that had been GirlatPlay.com for three years, it no longer reflected who I was. It didn't have the colour, vibrancy, fun, life, art, confidence or calmness that my work and my life now possessed. I wanted to exude those things because I'm finally catching up with myself.

So on Friday at just a little after 11 at night, I sat at the computer and coded, designed and drank (herbal) tea until 7AM. And this is what I got.

Although the next couple of weeks will surely be bringing tweaks (putting in new pictures so my mug isn't on every page, adding to the resources and sidebars as well as finding every typo!) for now, I'm rather pleased.

The inside seems to be matching the outside.