For those of us who have been seriously blocked at times–and man, I have been there and can still be there–sometimes the hardest thing to do is to just DO the work ANYWAY (see the first two years of this blog).  I can tell you that when I was blocked I was NOT short on ideas, inspiration, or plans, what I was short on was patience, humility, and action.  I loved the IDEA of creating in a concrete way, but for the longest time I was not willing to be bad or a beginner again.  I was in love with my own history as an artist–the times I was flowing with work or living what I perceived looking back as an idyllic time.  I combed over my songs, my poems, my art that I had completed like precious, frozen love affairs that I could not leave behind.  The truth was I just needed to sit down and DO.  What this required was willing to feel like a complete loser, to be boring, to be really BAD, and to live with the shame and pain of leaving behind my perfect, frozen past, and admit to where I really was–as imperfect and unromantic as it was.

From Tough Love by Summer Pierre

Please go out there and do. Live. Don’t be the same as yesterday. Don’t live vicariously online. Don’t use language that has no meaning or talk ideas you don’t really live. Don’t hide. Don’t copy others or live their ideas or life. Don’t fear doing your thing. Don’t fear doing. Instead of reading a decorating magazine, paint that room. Instead of thinking of baking, do up a cake. Run, walk, bike. Put that self help book down and pick up yourself.

Let go of the snark, your worries, your anger and fear and give into possibility, action, joy and life. Do. Do some more. Stop thinking about you. Stop blogging about just you and your kid and your pet. There’s a world out there to connect to, really connect to and email doesn’t count. Being of use is more important than being popular. Think about the lady down the street, the person at the drive through, the man fallen in the street, about politics, the environment, healthcare, another country and then do something about it. Never stop at thinking.

Dream big, work harder. Have lots of fun, lift a finger, do something for someone else. Cheer your friends on. Cheer yourself up. Celebrate as much as possible. Enjoy everything. Right now. It’s OK to want more and do more but be present with where you are or who you are with. Don’t rush the situation - even if it’s bad. Move on when you can. Don’t settle. Try everything you can and get over everything holding you back.

Go outside. Go outside yourself. Make a difference, make some change. Don’t complain about someone unless you’re talking to that someone. Don’t complain about a situation you’re not willing to make better. They don’t have it better and you don’t have it worse. Don’t make excuses. You’ll never see possibility if you do. And you’re smart and worth more than settling for a life of complaining and limitation.

Hope. Hope more. Give someone else hope. Get healthy and contribute to a healthy environment. Think about everything you do, you buy, you say. Only be lazy on Sunday and even then, be conscious. Rest is useful, giving up is not.

Live with a light heart. Play more. Remember what it’s like to be seven. Remember to listen to a seven year old because you just have more words and life experience, not necessarily more wisdom. Have more questions than answers and don’t put everything into words. Sometimes just feel things and be. Be quiet more often, listen harder, talk exactly as you mean to.

Strive for your best and not what you think someone elses’ best is. Follow through. Don’t let others’ down. Don’t let yourself down. You are better than your circumstances. Ask for what you’re worth. Make magic happen don’t wish for it. Don’t envy others’ lives, envy yours. Live it fully. Teach by example how to live well, how to be treated, how to be kind, how to be alive.

Do. I can’t stress that one enough. Take action on your life. Make the change. No more sulking, waiting, thinking, reading, talking about. It’s time. You’re ready.

“Luxury is the possibility to stay close to your customers, and do things that you know they will love. It’s about subtlety and details. It’s about service. I cannot accpet a place where people are badly received. I can’t imagine spending several thousand dollars on something and the salesclerk gets annoyed because you took fifteen minutes to look. Luxury is not consumerism. It is educating the eyes to see that special quality.” Christian Louboutin

1. Anticipated, personal and relevant advertising always does better than unsolicited junk.
2. Making promises and keeping them is a great way to build a brand.
3. Your best customers are worth far more than your average customers.
4. Share of wallet is easier, more profitable and ultimately more effective a measure than share of market.
5. Marketing begins before the product is created.
6. Advertising is just a symptom, a tactic. Marketing is about far more than that.
7. Low price is a great way to sell a commodity. That’s not marketing, though, that’s efficiency.
8. Conversations among the members of your marketplace happen whether you like it or not. Good marketing encourages the right sort of conversations.
9. Products that are remarkable get talked about.
10. Marketing is the way your people answer the phone, the typesetting on your bills and your returns policy.
11. You can’t fool all the people, not even most of the time. And people, once unfooled, talk about the experience.
12. If you are marketing from a fairly static annual budget, you’re viewing marketing as an expense. Good marketers realize that it is an investment.
13. People don’t buy what they need. They buy what they want.
14. You’re not in charge. And your prospects don’t care about you.
15. What people want is the extra, the emotional bonus they get when they buy something they love.
16. Business to business marketing is just marketing to consumers who happen to have a corporation to pay for what they buy.
17. Traditional ways of interrupting consumers (TV ads, trade show booths, junk mail) are losing their cost-effectiveness. At the same time, new ways of spreading ideas (blogs, permission-based RSS information, consumer fan clubs) are quickly proving how well they work.
18. People all over the world, and of every income level, respond to marketing that promises and delivers basic human wants.
19. Good marketers tell a story.
20. People are selfish, lazy, uninformed and impatient. Start with that and you’ll be pleasantly surprised by what you find.
21. Marketing that works is marketing that people choose to notice.
22. Effective stories match the worldview of the people you are telling the story to.
23. Choose your customers. Fire the ones that hurt your ability to deliver the right story to the others.
24. A product for everyone rarely reaches much of anyone.
25. Living and breathing an authentic story is the best way to survive in an conversation-rich world.
26. Marketers are responsible for the side effects their products cause.
27. Reminding the consumer of a story they know and trust is a powerful shortcut.
28. Good marketers measure.
29. Marketing is not an emergency. It’s a planned, thoughtful exercise that started a long time ago and doesn’t end until you’re done.
30. One disappointed customer is worth ten delighted ones.
31. In the googleworld, the best in the world wins more often, and wins more.
32. Most marketers create good enough and then quit. Greatest beats good enough every time.
33. There are more rich people than ever before, and they demand to be treated differently.
    Organizations that manage to deal directly with their end users have an asset for the future.
34. You can game the social media in the short run, but not for long.
35. You market when you hire and when you fire. You market when you call tech support and you market every time you send a memo.
36. Blogging makes you a better marketer because it teaches you humility in your writing.

The Boss of You

I’m asked a lot to be in books, to review books, to promote other’s books and 99% of the time I decline. Everyone and their mamma seems to have a book nowadays and from what I’ve seen, a lot seem to just be riding the creative bandwagon which I hopped off long ago.

The thing is, I’m highly creative but I’m also business and it seems that books either address one or the other. Also, a lot of self-employed/creative books geared towards women tend to lack “meat” - they go for making a person feel good with words like “juicy” “blessings” and offer ideas that aren’t appealing to me like pink markers, morning pages, breathing deeply and dancing wildly (ok - I like the last one). For someone like me who is a do-er, I want to be inspired with advice I can actually take from people who not just dish it, but have lived and are living it (I can’t take another self-help guru with a messed-up life promoting how to live and work creatively!).

Bitter much? Yes but I’m sure you’ll agree that there’s a lot of bad books out there. And when you’re starting out you might be tempted to buy them all (I almost did!).

That is why I am so, so, so thankful that Lauren Bacon and Emira Mear’s new book, The Boss of You, is finally available.

Over 5 years ago, Lauren and Emira ran an amazing site called Soap Box Girls which let women talk about what women talk about but also had tid bits on business (they really highlighted women-run business) politics and crafting. It was a great zine ahead of it’s time. I was so in-love with what these women were doing (running their own graphic business on top) that I asked them to be profiled on Another Girl at Play. Lucky for me they said yes and a great friendship started.

It was in this interview that I received the best bit of business advice I’ve ever received: Don’t undersell yourself!. Women undersell themselves on so many levels that to read this from them really, really stuck. And I’ve always asked for what I’m worth and have never settled financially or with projects. That’s thanks to them.

They now run the site “Boss Lady which has lots of great info. It was also the base for their Boss Lady Panel at SXSW last year that I, along with Jenny Hart and Vickie Howell, were able to be a part of. The five of us meshed so well and we offered great advice and stories - some of which are found in The Boss of You.

Whether you’re starting an internet based business, something crafting or a brick a mortar store, this book is something you need - and I don’t say that lightly. It doesn’t talk down to you and it’s not dry. It’s personable with real advice to get you rocking out. Isn’t that what a great book does?

Image by Summer Pierre

I’ve known Summer Pierre for a few years. She was kind enough to be profiled on Another Girl at Play and dish with me on several occasions in both Palo Alto CA & New York. With each visit she’s inspired me and her blog is a never ending visual treat. She’s an amazing, highly creative artist… with a day job.

I once wrote about the highly acclaimed artist Dai Giang who had art showings around the world and sold paintings for thousands of dollars. Yet during the day he worked in the manufacturing plant at Mountain Safety Research - an outdoor gear company. Anything but creative!

Summer shares a lot of thoughts about having a day job (the reasons, the good, the bad, the ugly) that I think everyone can relate to. She’s even made a zine out of it (The Artist in the Office). Why I love these discussions is because I think sometimes some artists feel a sense of “shame” if they have a “day job” or any job that isn’t 100% based on their creativity. But they shouldn’t as long as they’re creating and living the way they want - who cares how it gets done. There is no generic “Right Way.” One way doesn’t make you a real artist. There’s just life and living it the best way for you.

Personally, I’m the most creative when I have a million things going on. If I had nothing to do all day but write and paint I’d do anything but. I believe firmly in the Thoreau quote, “How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.” So because of this, I am on the go a lot, I do a lot of things - some creative, some not. But everything is piece that makes up the larger picture of who I am. Everything I do are things I want to do whether it’s for business or pleasure. This way, despite being tired I’m never drained - and always creating.

The world judges only the outcome but we forget this because we tend to judge the process. We judge the title, the outfit, the company, the paycheque, the right answer, the wrong answer. But really, all that matters is that you do something that satisfies you - whatever and however.

After all, that’s all that should matter, right?

My take on this is because if you have nothing you don’t have fear of losing anything. All you know is you want something so bad you’ll do whatever you can to get it. The more desire you have, the less questions you ask and the more actions you take - this is true of anything.

Comfort is something so many of us strive for yet can become a sort of prison if we’re not careful. It can breed fear and laziness by tricking us into thinking we can’t risk. When it’s at that very moment we should.

In 1984 I received my first Apple II computer and coded endlessly with “the turtle.” A few years later I begged my parents for a computer (just a blank PC) and they thought I was crazy (a pretty little cute 14 year old girl wanting a what? This was 1987 after all). I began coding games in DOS Basic in between rounds of playing with Barbie and learning how to put on rouge. Then I got into BBS’ing - 300, 1200 oh my word 9600 baud! It was pre-web at that point but I was connecting to people from around the world at a very slow pace and loved every minute of it.

In 1995 I created my first web page using Netscape Navigator and began writing a daily online journal in 1996. My personal site became instantly popular (I assume because at this time, there wasn’t much personal stuff on nor was there many females). In 2001 I began my own freelance career which I chronicled on my site, GirlatPlay.com. I ended up creating more sites, branding things, creating a loyal audience, and having 2 SXSW Web award nominations.

I’ve worked in New Media and technology for a lot of years yet I’m almost never invited to speak on tech subjects (I usually am only asked to speak at writing and “creative” conferences which I mostly pass on). Although I’m 33 with this 20 year solid online history, I look quite young, I’m very blond, I wear dresses, I laugh whilst speaking, I’m not uber-competitive with others and I still maintain a life outside the web. This, I think, makes it hard to get taken as “serious tech geek who has authority” amongst a whole bunch of men and a few pant wearing women - the same 4 women that seem to get asked over and over again to speak.

I think people often have a perception of what “geek” is, what “authority” is and what “serious” is and if one doesn’t fit it, they’re out. I know all the “cool kids” who speak at these conferences, I am connected with my peers yet I don’t have their “look” nor do I blog 24/7 about it. I think that has a lot to do why I - along with other women like myself - do not get invited to participate at conferences. We can talk about “being creative,” our “feelings” and “wearing pink boas” but we don’t really get to talk about the meat of things very often. And that’s frustrating. Especially since I don’t think we have to be one or the other - we can be both. And I think those of us who don’t just make a living blogging 24/7 about tech or just going to conferences as a full-time job might be a little more in-touch with the outside world and have a fresher perspective than the people who keep making the same rounds.

It’s why I initiated and helped put together a (very well-received) panel at the 2007 SXSWI called “Boss Lady” - showing women can be smart, creative, funny, personable, driven, and geeky. Because I know I have something to offer and I’m not going to wait to be asked to share it anymore.

I offered her the idea of treating her new business as a part-time evening gig; working after all her other things had been taken care of. Her face squinted up at this. This, she said, seemed a little hard because she was already busy. I gently explained that working on your own is one if the hardest things you can do - especially at first. The effort, sacrifice and bravery required are often more than when you start a job with a company that has everything laid out for you. The cushion of a 40-hour work week with weekends off, sick benefits and coworkers to tag team with does not exist. Her face squinted more because she didn’t like the sound of all that work; that’s not what her idea of being self-employed was.

She had the “9-5 grass is greener” syndrome. The one in which you imagine that if you were on your own, everything would be easy peasy or at least easier. You’d have freedom, creativity, total control, late mornings, time off, possibility. And while you do get to have these things, there is a price to pay for it and that price is not for everyone.

So I suggested that perhaps she wasn’t made to be an entrepreneur and I could tell she didn’t like that answer because she was not happy where she was. And the opposite of unhappy is happy so the opposite of corporate must be freelance, right? Wrong.

I know a lot of people who work for corporations, company’s and star ups that are extraordinarily happy because they have found the right fit and the right company. These people know how they work, what they want to do and then target companies and other people that match their values, ideas and work ethic. And these people who go to offices each day are happy office people - they’re sometimes happier than a lot of self-employed people who struggle every day.

I asked the woman if she liked the company she worked for. No, she said. I asked if she even liked the role within the company. No, she said. I asked her if she had thought of defining who she was, what she could do and then taking that to a company that matched and she said no. She hadn’t thought of going to a different company with a different job. She had believed (as I once had), that every job would be the same. Every office would be the same. And the only solution to cubicle hell would be to leave.

It was the answer for me at the time, but it’s not the answer for everyone. Especially someone like her who really needed financial security to meet so many responsibilities and who also did not want to really work all that hard on something else. But when the idea of finding a different company in a different area and taking on a different career came to her, she smiled and shook her head “yes” for the first time in our conversation.

Sometimes when a person isn’t satisfied with something they tend to daydream about the total opposite - if you’re single you think being married would make you happy. If you have children that are driving you crazy you think about being childless. If you’re in a job you hate you think about going on your own. But I don’t think swinging to extremes is ever a really good idea because it’s usually just you reacting and not really thinking. You’ll end up with the same issues (perhaps more) if you just go to the opposite instead of figuring out what would really work best.

There are great things about working for someone else just as there are great things to working on your own. If you’re deciding weather or not to become an entrepreneur, writer or artist, you need to be honest about the amount of work that you’ll have to put into it without outside help - especially until you can afford to hire an assistant, a manager, an accountant or land an agent. You’ll have to ask if you’re prepared to work more than 40hours a week (and it’s true, you’ll be working in an area you love so perhaps it won’t feel like work, but then you run the risk of blurring the line between work and play. Burn out can be a problem). You’ll need to ask yourself if you require financial stability which can be hard to come by, especially when you’re first starting out. And you’ll have to understand how you work - because no one will be handing you work and giving you yearly reviews. You’re your own boss.

If you need freedom, creativity, the need to be of service, be independent, run your own ship but can’t quite make the leap to freelancer, see how you can rearrange your current life. Can you switch to another job within your company, can you go to a different company, can you work 4 10-hr days and have Friday off, can you go part-time, can you work in an entirely different area, can you work for an entrepreneur or a start-up to gain experience?

Going out on my own was the right thing for me to do at the time and it’s worked out extraordinarily well. All the challenges have been so completely worth it because the rewards were more than I expected. But it’s not for everyone. I think we all want to do work that we love and feel good about it at the end of the day. And for some working on their own is the way to do it whilst for others it’ll be nothing but a miserable time. Vice versa for working for someone else. The trick is just to be truthful about what you need, how you work, and what you are willing to do. Maybe that’s starting your own company or maybe it’s working for someone else.

Neither is better than the other - it’s just a question of what works for you.

(For another perspective, read Summer Pierre’s Artist in the Office series.)